|
The Official Guide To Teenagers and Parenting
As the clock ticked down
the old year and we all awaited the arrival of a brand new year, I begun to
wonder what all the people around me truly wished for deep down in that very
quiet place where dreams, hopes and wishes really live. You know the place where
we don’t always reveal our true desires to others in case we sound silly,
foolish or vulnerable.
But if we want to be a
co-creator of our own universe and family life we must make plans with a purpose
in order to manifest the destiny that that we foresee for ourselves and let
go of our fear of sounding silly. I call it “creating dreams…. with
a date” and since writing down my dreams and visualising them every day
I can’t believe how extraordinary things keep happening to me.
Having watched “The
Secret” DVD a couple of years ago and having just read Napoleon Hill’s
amazing book “Think and Grow Rich” I can’t believe the people
I meet, the adventures I have and the relationships and people that I’m
so grateful for having in my life since I started to use the power of visualisation.
Some people say that we
cannot control the future, but failing to plan is planning to fail. If you have
a wait and see attitude, then whatever happens simply happens and sometimes
you can feel like life is controlling you and you are a victim to fate. When
you write down some goals that you’d like to achieve you feel far more
in control of your life and you feel far less stressed and far more energised.
Like everyone else, I like
to plan things that I‘d like to achieve or see happen for the new year,
but I also know that unless I put determined, concentrated effort behind my
goals they will never materialise. You have to distinguish between a wish, a
dream, a hope and a desire. Napoleon Hill even goes so far as to say you must
make your dreams burning desires which adds passion and real enthusiasm to your
hopes. It’s the difference between just talking about something you’d
like to happen and really making it happen.
So why not look at the
sort of family relationships you’d really love to have with each of your
children or look at the sort of parent you’d like to be described as when
your kids are all grown up and are telling their kids about you.
What sort of memories are
you creating for them through your discipline, enthusiasm and time spent really
chatting and playing with them?
Go and grab a cup of coffee
and a pen and take a few moments to daydream and make some plans.
The year is divided into
12 months, so why not assign yourself 12 goals for the year?
So start by asking
yourself:
• What do I most
want to change in my family relationships?
• What would be different in my life if these problems, niggles or worries
were gone permanently?
• What will happen if I don’t sort them out once and for all?
• What small thing could I do today to start the process off?
If you want to, you can
even rank the goals highest to lowest with one being your number one goal for
the year. Once you have written this list, look at it first thing in the morning
and last thing at night. Keep it somewhere handy or pop it up somewhere where
you can see it easily.
Just read your goals to
yourself slowly and deliberately and start to relax and imagine them happening
in great detail. See what you see, hear what you hear and feel how great you
feel as you start to see these things happening for real in your life. Be as
detailed as possible in your pictures and make them really bright and colourful.
Let the list of goals go
into your unconscious mind through the repetition of reading them a couple of
times each day ( I often say just before you brush your teeth as it’s
something you naturally do regularly every day so you can easily remember to
do it!) and soon your goals just turn into habits. This is genuinely the key
to success as your unconscious mind starts to explore ways to make these things
happen for you -it just starts to deliver a plan that will be the turnkey in
achieving your goals.
Loads of people make New
Year’s Resolutions to lose weight, give up smoking or take more exercise
but I agree with Paul McKenna when he says that visualisation is far much more
powerful than willpower. So if you want your relationship to improve with your
stroppy teenager or your unpredictable toddler just relax and keep visualising
how you’d like it to be in a perfect world in lots of detail - see yourself
relaxed and hear the sorts of things you say and do in this perfect scenario.
This inspires you and keeps you really motivated and enthusiastic and is far
more powerful than just “wishing for” things to improve.
But as I also learnt on
Tony Robbins “Unleash the Power Within” Firewalking weekend you
also have to take massive immediate ACTION. Don’t just be like one of
the people down the pub talking a good game …..and blaming someone else….
go and actually DO SOMETHING about making it happen. Change your tone of voice,
appear more assertive and confident, listen more and talk less, read a parenting
book on communicating with teenagers - whatever it takes to make a small change
that can make a huge difference.
Don't just wish - be really
specific - daydream and imagine how you’d like it to be - take a small
step of ACTION and believe - then you will truly see the changes that you genuinely
want to see.
I also want you to pat
yourself on the back and take a few moments to reflect on the achievements and
challenges you experienced in the last year and to really celebrate all the
things you did really well - as parents we forget to celebrate and praise ourselves
for doing a great job often under difficult circumstances. Then just relax and
come up with some new and different positive ways to further your goals and
ambitions in the time ahead.
Remember, every day is
a new beginning and you have a whole world of possibilities available to you.
Don’t beat yourself up about your past mistakes - just learn from them
and get excited about the things you can do from now on.
Just be open- minded to
keep learning, laughing and enjoying the adventure together. |
Setting Goals And Looking Forward 
